Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Uncomfortableness of it All

Embrace the uncomfortable parts of life. Awkward social settings, emotions you don't like to express, annoying circumstances, everything. You already know what it feels like to be fearful of all of these things, so why not try welcoming the parts that make you cringe or back away? If something is making you retreat, it is probably something you need to experience for your own personal growth. Why not just stick it out to see what it feels like?

I had this thought while I was taking a bath tonight. I like to lay with most of myself under the water and close my eyes (my nose and mouth remain up). I listen to my heart beating, and I try to slow my heart rate with my breath. It's amazing how loud your own heart beat is under water. Whenever I practice this or some other meditation-like technique, I always have a small moment of panic where I just lose all concentration. I'm not sure what I am fearful of. In the bathtub situation it's not like I am actually going to drown, but for some reason the stillness of myself seems to startle something in me. Tonight I practiced getting through it and just pushing my own limits of comfortability. After my bath I decided to rinse off in a nice cool shower. The water was actually freezing, but instead of turning the temperature up, I decided to just exist in the cold for the experience of it. It was kind of nice.